The Point-Blank Creeper

Today we will examine one of the simpler genres of creeper. Note that the above photograph of five beautiful ladies is being tainted by the ever-present, point-blank creeper. This case of the point-blank creeper comes in the form of a blue-striped button-down shirt and blue jeans. The point-blank creeper is shameless, fearless and immoral. This creeper is easily identified in this instance for several reasons. First and foremost, he is caught red-eyed. The red-eyed, point-blank creeper proves not only his intentional and direct eye contact with the camera but also his self-awareness of his creeper ways. The point-blank creeper has no shame. Today's creeper intentionally and willingly forced himself upon a picture, which is often the case of any creeper. The distinction of point-blank creeper, as opposed to a general creeper, is, by definition, a creeper who not only acknowledges his presence in a picture but who, in fact, concentrates on being in the picture rather than turning away to avoid exposure. Note that the creeper's male friend directly next to the culprit is barely visible as he seemingly attempts to avoid being photographed--this distinction separates the men from the creepers.

The Indecent Creeper

Pardon the offensive hand gesture, for without it, one cannot correctly identify the indecent creeper. In the instance of an indecent creeper, the presence of a flagrant indecency, in this case, a middle finger, is obvious. Beyond just the finger, this indecent creeper exemplifies other specific characteristics of his respective genre. The creeper's protruding tongue draws attention to his lacking maturity which is often the case with indecent creepers; this type of creeper is situated towards the bottom of the maturity totem pole. Furthermore, a lingering notion of sexual innuendo is ever-present in the angle and extent of his protruding tongue. The indecent creeper not only disregards societal expectations of comportment, but he, in many cases, can actually ruin a perfectly photographed Kodak moment. Not only is this cherished moment ruined by an indecent creeper, but, to make matters worse, he blatantly invades the personal space of two innocent girls. Unfortunately, indecent, the courts have come to define, is not always illegal. The obscene creeper, on the other hand, is always illegal, and shall be saved for another day.

The Representin' Creeper

This genre of creepers is not quite as offensive as some others in its class. The representin' creeper exudes pride and confidence in her hometown, paying due respect to her roots. In the words of R&B songwriter, Usher, "Peace up, A-Town down." According to UrbanDictionary.com, two fingers raised up represent the hand signal for peace; two fingers pointed down represent the hand signal "A" for "A-Town." In today's instance, the representin' creeper flashes the hand signal to represent her respective neighborhood. The representin' creeper can easily be overlooked. Rather than attempting to gain full exposure to herself, she humbly relinquishes a direct shot of her face to ensure her town is properly represented. This representin' creeper may not be recognizable but her town sure is.
Note that there are some instances in which a representin' creeper is offensive. To avoid favoring any particular organization, I opted not to provide a visual example for this detestable type of representin' creeper. The gang member turned representin' creeper is one type of creeper that must be avoided at all costs. The gang representin' creeper has forever tarnished the clean reputation of neighborhood representin' creepers everywhere. If the representin' creeper is flashing hand signals to distinguish his particular gang affiliation, the picture must be destroyed. This is one of few creepers that not only ruin a Kodak moment but actually forces the destruction of any photographic evidence. Together, we can prevent gang shanks.

The Envious Creeper

Warning: the thought of fun times involving sake bombs may be distracting, try to stay focused on the creeper at hand. The envious creeper is different from other creepers because it is one of few instances in which a creeper may appear in a candid photograph. Generally speaking, creepers usually appear behind a group of posing patrons. The envious creeper may often emerge within a candid action shot. The visual epitomizes the envious creeper in a candid picture. Four young women enjoying a girls' night out of sushi and sake are, unknowingly, within close proximity of a creeper. The envious creeper displays a look of disappointment, for he is not partaking in the shenanigans unraveling before his eyes. This creeper yearns to be more than just a part of the picture for which he is a creeper. More than just a look of disappointment, the envious creeper's facial expression--jaw dropped, brow tightened--personify his thoughts: "Man, why am I sitting at this table?" Although green may be a more suitable color for this creeper, his red eyes and red shirt flamboyantly draw attention to his creeper potential--with further examination, the envious creeper is, undoubtedly, identified and labeled.

The Inverse Creeper

The inverse creeper is quite a devious genre of creepers and is often tricky to identify. For those without a familiarity of the general creeper, might I suggest you refer to simpler creepers before embarking on the search for the inverse creeper. Normally, the creeper lingers in the background of a photograph--the polar opposite is true for the inverse creeper. The inverse creeper is still considered a member of the creeper family because he forces himself upon a photograph in which he had no place being in. The inverse creeper is distinctive in that the creeper is, in fact, the front and center of the picture, but, nonetheless, he is creeping. The visual exemplifies the inverse creeper. Note the creeper is, in fact, unwanted and intentionally invading the original Kodak moment. The girls posed ever so gracefully for their photographic memory and were succumbed to a complete encroachment of photography etiquette. Common folk have been known to duck underneath the camera's scope or wait until the photo was taken before continuing on his way--the inverse creeper will do no such thing. This creeper, forceful and inconsiderate, makes a conscious effort to invade a picture; his main thrill in life is seeking any opportunity to shine in all his creeper glory.